Jesus heals pain.

I keep hearing the Holy Spirit say,

Jesus heals pain. 

Jesus heals pain. 

Jesus heals pain.

physical, emotional. 

all pain. 

every ache, no matter how small.

He heals. 

hold onto Him. 

He is safe.

He cares.

He hears.

He sees.

He will bring restoration. 

He is our restoration. 

He is the answer, draw near.

Jesus heals pain. Praise Him!

Salt & Light

It seems to be a fact about salt and light that they want to manifest their essential quality...The next time I find myself with any sort of tendency to cover up the face that I am a Christian, in order, maybe to ingratiate myself with somebody else to avoid persecution, I am just to think of the man lighting his candle and then covering it with a bushel. The moment I think of it like that and see how ridiculous it is...I shall therefore reject it, and shine still more brightly." [Martyn Lloyd Jones]

the joy of patience

Yesterday, last minute, I decided to go to Auburn for the night to visit Jana and Alison. It was about 2pm when I got on the road and about 4pm I thought to myself, "Man, this does not look familiar at all." I got out my gps, which why I didn't use it before I'm not sure, and typed in Auburn. Low and behold I had gone 2 hours east instead of west! Baffled at my lack-of-direction for the past 2 hours, I trekked on with the gps taking me through middle-of-nowhere Georgia and arrived in Auburn a sold 4 hours or so after leaving Atlanta.

The past week or so the Lord has been speaking Patience to me, so this little fumble was just another way of pressing me. I immediately started talking to the Lord about patience..asking Him to teach me and work this in my heart. If He is patient and its definitely a good thing, I want to be patient and enjoy it. 

I started just singing over and over "love is patient, love is patient." And from there He just opened me up. He is never anxious. He enjoys waiting. The only reason we even "wait on the Lord" is because He is waiting on us. The Father is waiting for a pure and spotless bride for Jesus. He doesn't want an immature bride that is not ready or comparable. 

When waiting on the Lord and being patient, we are waiting on mature, appointed and ready times from Him. How often have I acted prematurely, simply tired of waiting on Him, and completely ruined a situation or created a mess simply because of the lack of patience and I guess ultimately a lack of understanding about the Lord's sovereignty. And every time, without fail, I think, "Dangit, why didn't I just wait?"

The Lord loves waiting. 

He loves being patient. He is patience itself. 

I believe there is a deep joy in waiting and being patient that is available for us to tap into. 

I think as we push through and endure situations with patience that the Lord will open up new places of rest and peace in our hearts and souls that we've never known. 

"Count it ALL JOY when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces PATIENCE. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

James 1:2-4

And I am 100% sold on singing the Word! Seriously, do it. I have zero vocal ability and sing off key and horrible sounding, but the Lord loves it and it really does open up your heart in such a unique way. The Lord will just take you to new places and give you revelation and understanding you never would have thought of and can't put into words. It's amazing and just a really good way to mediate on the Word and get it written on our heart.

"love is patient" went to "those who wait on the Lord will never be put to shame" 

Why won't they be put to shame? Because He is our hope! And He won't disappoint. (Romans 5:5)

Ah, this is our Beloved, our Father, our Friend!! His leadership is absolutely perfect and beautiful. 

SCRATCH the John the Baptist and Jesus were best friends idea....

John1:31-33
"I did not know Him; but that He should be revealed to Israel, therefore I came baptizing with water." And John bore witness, saying, "I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and He remained upon Him. I did not know Him, but He who sent me to baptize with water said to me, 'Uupon whom you see the Spirit descending, and remaining on Him, this is He who baptizes with the Holy Spirit."

enjoyinggodministries.com
they gave us this website to look at for the Sermon on the Mount class I am taking and I thought it had some good stuff on it that you might be interested in while studying your Bible..

well, time is flying by. hard to believe the third week is wrapping up. it has been such a sweet time from the Lord. really feel like He's changing me and its incredible for my hope to be alive and to feel the precious Holy Spirit working in my heart. just in a real tender, sweet place with Him. not really sure how to articulate what He's showing me. but pretty much I just meditate on Psalm91:1 (He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty)a lot, ha.

the other day in a class on Mary of Bethany, the guy teaching was talking about how Mary poured the perfume, which was probably her inheritance, over Jesus. it was 2 days before He was going to be persecuted. she lavished her devotion on Him. and after having an entire bottle poured on you, you're likely to smell it for a while. so while Jesus was on the cross, with each breath He was probably breathing in the fragrance of voluntary love. and for the Joy set before Him, He went to the cross. what a sweet thought, that the perfume was a reminder of the joy He receives from our devoted love to Him.

also, been thinking a lot about John the Baptist and Jesus. this isn't biblical at all but i think they were best friends growing up. it would make sense...if Mary and Elizabeth were relatives and pregnant about the same time..not sure if they lived in the same city, but lets pretend they did. I've been imagining them growing up together, building a fort or something and Jesus telling John who He really is. doing miracles, just them two. today i thought about them playing hid and go seek haha. i wonder if Jesus just sometimes let John win bc since Jesus is God, John would never stand a chance in a race or game of any kind. i bet Jesus did let John win, probably most of the time since He's so gracious and kind..but John deep down knew Jesus was letting Him win which was ok since he was hanging out with the God of the universe.
i always thought, man john the baptist must have had some crazy encounter growing up or something and then it just hit me...he was probably just best friends with Jesus.
and if we are a forerunner generation like John the Baptist preparing the way of the Lord, it would make since that we, His people, His bride were His best friends too
...your opinion welcomed...

tree dream

let this truth go deep inside of me..
I was made for You
and You delight in me.
We will be together forever. and ever.
(a song they always sing here that i'm obsessed with..ha)

I had a dream the other night that my mom, Lauren and I were in Asia somewhere and we were getting on a train to go to another city. My mom went to exchange our money so we could pay and she came back with a piece of cloth with a tree sown onto it. the root system of the tree took up a significant part of the picture. and in the top right corner were the numbers 103.
I couldn't get the image off my mind all morning and prayed about what this meant. I felt the Lord saying that the money is obviously something valuable and that in His Kingdom a deep root system is what is valuable and is what will sustain us for the age to come. We have to be a people who delight in Him and meditate on His ways...feed on His faithfulness.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
nor stands in the path of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on His law he meditates day and night.
He shall be like a tree
planted by the rivers of water,
that bring forth its fruit in its season,
whose leaf also shall not wither;
and whatever he does shall prosper. (1:03)
The ungodly are not so,
but are like the chaff which the wind drives away.
Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
For the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
but the way of the ungodly shall parish.
Psalm 1

His discipline is love.

"You are the God who disciplines without disappointment"

For they (earthly fathers) indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. [Hebrews12:10]

faith & justice

The Lord has been asking me to let go of somethings and today i just got to the point where i was like, "ok God i want to let go but i dont know how. i need your help. how do i let go of a desire that is from you?" those desires though can sneak up into idols.. and thats what He wants me to let go of.. not necessarily the desire but the position it has in my heart.

I was reminded of Abraham and how God promised him a son but it did not come to pass for something like 100 years. So pretty much Abraham had a God-given desire burning in him for a hundred years! And he just had to trust that God is faithful to his promises. So the hundred years goes by and Sarah has Isaac. The desire was finally fulfilled. And then what does God do? Asks him to sacrifice his son. To kill the fulfillment of his desire and promise. And Abraham actually got to the point of tying up his son and putting him on the alter over wood, fully intending to sacrifice him to the Lord. And then God sends the ram, and protects his desire. But oh man, the willingness to lay it all down is huge!
As Abraham held the knife over Issac the angle of the Lord said, “Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.” (Gen22:12)

Through this story, God is showing me that He has to be at a completely different level than any other lover. I've always been like yea, God's #1..but there have been some close seconds. He is jealous to be our first and only love. He has to be far above, real far above any other love on earth or even a desire. And yes, He has given us desires that are legit and from Him and will be fulfilled while we're on earth, but they can't come anywhere near Him and our love for Him. That we'll give up anything anytime He asks. He's testing our hearts. What am I still holding on to that isn't in His hands, in His control completely? Just the fact that Abraham was willing to give up his son tells a lot about the position of his heart and the place God had in his life. I want to have faith like that. and the question He asked me today, "Do you have faith that I will protect your desires?"
---------------------
Justice through Jesus. God's justice on the lost person is salvation. God's justice on the drug addict is deliverance.God's justice makes the sick person well.
What a good and mighty and gracious God we serve!

words cant describe.

Wow, not exactly sure how to begin this…except for WOW! Haha. My goodness. Today was my 4th day as in intern. I seriously don’t even know how to put into words what the past few days have been like but I guess I’ll give it a try...
Yesterday was our first full day in the prayer room, and I left completely in awe of the grace of God on these people’s lives. I realized that I have glamorized a lot of ministry, especially the prayer movement and Africa. Its like 'ooh yea that would be awesome for your job to be to fast and pray and be before God all day!' Or' Man, that would be so cool to live in Africa and feed the poor every day.' It is for sure one thing to talk about it and a completely different to actually live out those realities. And yes, both of those are amazing and the heart of Jesus but it is 100% by the grace of God that we can do either of those, or anything for that matter. I am realizing how weak I am apart from Him. It's only day 4 and I cant keep praying, "Lord my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak." Its a constant dying to your flesh.
day 1 was awesome as was day 2 and I’m sure the rest of my time here, but the thought of doing this day in and day out for the rest of my life is just too much to comprehend right now. Just day1 was hard! I definitely have a completely new respect for intercessors and those who have given themselves to the house of prayer. The grace of God is powerful and so strong!! If your heart isn’t being constantly kept alive by the Spirit, this would be miserable honestly.
I have more of an understanding of why, as Corey Russell says, he’s addicted to the daily break through…you have to be! And I think the key is, and what God is “tricking” me into, if you will, is an addiction to that break through. An addiction to His presence, to His word, to partnering with Jesus in prayer, to hearing Him speak, and the deeper things of God and His Spirit. An addiction to Him making my heart alive! And only Him! Honestly though, no matter what your occupation without that, life is going to be miserable. So no matter what I end up "doing" He is well on His way to ruining me for Jesus, ha. We were created FOR God! Oh man, I want to know Him. To really know this man Jesus. Not to simply do things in His name, but to actually know what He is like and what He thinks about different issues in society, the world and my life. To know His heart. To be in tune with the heart of God. That is all I want. And the things we do in His name have to come from that place, I’m convinced. It’s like if a husband just went out and bought his wife all the latest and greatest things thinking that is what she wants, when really her she could care less about those things and just wants time with him. It’s only in spending time with her that he’ll realize that the good-morning-note he left on the bathroom sink before going to work meant WAY more to her than the new diamond or outfit. The world says fastest car, nicest house…Jesus says note on the bathroom sink. I like that about Him. He’s really understands our hearts and desires and how He wired us. :)

I’ve been asking the Lord what He wants me to study during my prayer room time. (Also realizing I’ve never really gone in-depth into His word. It’s more like “God, give me revelation on light.” And he tells me one thing and I’m like oh cool, check. How about the Father’s love? One encounter with the Father’s delight in me and I’m like whoa that was amazing, check. What is the rush? Imagine giving yourself for a month to studying nothing but the light of God! Ok, there’s that soapbox) So, I’ve been feeling like the Lord wants me to focus on the ‘fear of the Lord’ and so I started looking stuff up about it today and then we had a time of prayer for the interns during an intercession set and this guy just kept saying, “seek out the fear of the Lord, seek out the fear of the Lord!!” Thank you Jesus for confirmation! I’m excited to give myself to studying this topic and seeking the Lord about what it means to fear Him. I’m sure there will be some blogs to come regarding the topic..ha.

Ok, that’s enough about me. What about YOU?

this and that

4 days until the beginning of what hopefully marks one of the most significant seasons of my life. I have a lot of expectation for the next few months and am excited since He always exceeds my expectations and then some. I feel like a lot will be revealed as far as vision, purpose, direction and those sorts of things, as well as an incredibly deep and sweet love for Jesus... Makes me smile just thinking about it :)

I've felt a nudge here and there to "let go" of some things for now. I am trying the best I can to be sensitive to those nudges, trusting and believing He has my best interest in mind. With a lot of comforts removed, it has left me bare before the Comforter. I'm realizing He's jealous to be the one we run to. In good and bad.
With so much uncertainty before me, anxiety and fear try to creep their way into my heart, but the voice of my Father keeps saying, "Will you trust My leadership? I am faithful."
It is amazing how quickly my heart will go from fear to rest at the sound those words. He has never let me down. He has never disappointed me. He has never left me. He has always provided. He has given me joy. He is joy. He is peace. He is life. And He lives in me! I have absolutely no reason not to trust His leadership. Thank You Jesus! Have Your way in me!

This past weekend, Taylor and I were talking about the beauty of God. And how beautiful this God of ours must really be that we've never actually seen Him with our naked eye, yet we know and feel His beauty! Something to think about...

On a lighter/random note, Meagan and I joined LAFitness, so thats exciting. I think it would be really fun to work for Ace of Cakes. The rain has been a nice change. I, Sandra King Gonzalez, am actually ready for it to get colder. And I miss Tuscaloosa.
1Samuel12:24
The End.

oh peace & contentment.

i dont know if i've ever had this feeling..
choosing to be exactly where i feel the Lord has called me.
up to this point in life the road has been marked out as to what step to take next.
now its just completely open to wherever He directs me. what an exciting adventure!
i havent had this sense of peace for where He has brought me in a long time, if ever. it rules. peace rules.being content rules. Jesus rules.
i like saying 'rules'...its kinda like 'the bomb'. i like them both, ha. makes me think of a 14 yr old with neon nike high tops for some reason.

psalm40:11
..Let your lovingkindness and your truth continually preserve me.

globes, maps, shower curtains & the Father

while driving to target the first weekend meagan and i had moved to atlanta i mentioned that i wanted one of those map-of-the-world shower curtains. from there i went on about how i've always wanted a globe and that i love looking at maps and knowing where places are. we kinda laughed about my randomness and moved on in the conversation.
we arrived at target and were looking in the bathroom section and right there on the shelf was a miniture globe! I'm here. I'm listening. I'm attentive. My gaze is fixed on You constantly.
i bought the $1 globe without hesitation, completely filled with joy on the inside because of the sweetness of my Father.

this past weekend i was in nashville for fletcher's graduation. the whole family was there, which was great but my introverted self started going crazy by friday afternoon. i was pretty unpleasant to be around much of that night and saturday to be honest. and even in my grumpy, stubborn, not loving state He kisses me.
saturday afternoon we ventured to the Tomato Art Festival, where although the street was packed, i knew it was my getaway. i wondered around looking at the art and just enjoying some time by myself. i was walking through this old house filled with beautiful antiques and there it was...a bookshelf filled with globes. at least 10. again i heard, I'm here. i'm listening. I'm attentive. My gaze is fixed on You constantly.

again at target today, my mom and i were looking at shower curtains and there it was..the world map. of course i bought it. besides the fact that its completely sweet, its the best reminder and i hope i hear it every time for the rest of my life when i see a globe or world map, the sweet voice of my Father, I'm here. I'm listening. I'm attentive. My gaze is fixed on You constantly.

a few psalm 119 promises

return to rest, oh my soul, for the Lord dealt bountifully with you [7]
I will run the course of your commandments, for you shall enlarge my heart [32]
turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in your way [37]
and i will walk in liberty for i seek your precepts [45]
you are my portion, o Lord...[57]
the earth, o Lord, is full of your mercy; teach me your statutes [64]
you are good and do good; teach me your statutes [68]
i know, o Lord, that your judgments are right, and in your faithfulness you have afflicted me [75]
let, i pray, your merciful kindness be my comfort...[76]
let your tender mercies come to me that i may live; for your law is my delight [77]
let my heart be blamless regarding your statutes, that i may not be ashamed [80]
forever, o Lord, your word is settled in heaven. [89]
you, through your commandments, make me wiser than my enemies; for they are ever with me [98]
you are my hiding place ans shield; i hope in your word [114]
hold me up, and i shall be safe...[117]
your testimonies are wonderful; therefore my soul keeps them [129]
the entrance of your word gives light; it gives understanding to the simple [130]
direct my steps by your word, and let no iniquity have dominion over me [133]
make your face shine upon your servant...[135]
your word is pure; therefore your servant loves it [140]
your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, and your law is truth [142]
you are near, o Lord, and all your commandments are truth [151]
the entirety of your word is truth and every one of your righteous judgments endures forever [160]
...my heart stands in awe of your word [161]
I rejoice at your word as one who finds a great treasure [162]
great peace have those who love your law, and nothing causes them to stumble [165]

as you walk into the room
make your home in me
as i cast my burdens
don't hold back your mercy
fill me with your might
fill me with your truth
fill me with all you've got
the knowledge of you
fill me with your word
seal it on my heart
that i'd be known as yours, a child of God

and i want to be like you and all that you are
so help me be mindful of the longings of your heart

fill me with your might
fill me with your truth
fill me with all you've got--the knowledge of You

i open my eyes to see your goodness
i open my heart to catch your gaze
cause You delight in me, You do.

ft laud day 1

arrived in ft laud last night. the airport looked completely different than what i remembered. there were fish tanks and huge tropical mural paintings..probably the coolest airport i've seen lately. 

granddaddy, uncle george and i talked for a little while. george was telling us about his church and that they let this ministry use their building that reaches out to the homosexual community. it started with 7 people who wanted to get free of that lifestyle and has grown to over 40 people. the church is located in the heart of wilton manors, which 18% of the households are homosexual. praise the Lord! 

grandaddy and i went to Harbor Cafe this morning for breakfast. he told me about him and grandmothers trip to hawaii. 

going to find something to do..

only a few left.

i suppose i should savor these moments..?
6am. project due at 8am. paper due at 3pm.
not finished with either.
coffee in hand.
ghetto computer propped up against my backpack on my bed.
seeing how long i can possibly procrastinate.
its hard be motivated after my adviser already said congrats for graduating college.
oh yes, thank you.
with spring break a day away and my congrats in-hand, school work is next to impossible.