a list

1. i get to see my parents next weekend!! i'm really excited about this. it's been since Christmas. too long. 

2. i'm moving for the third time in the past 9 months tomorrow. fortunately, i think i'll be at this condo for a while. its really nice/cute and anyone is welcome to visit anytime. :)

3. if we ask, He will come. He's always on time. never a second late.

4. miss sally came to the prayer room today! it was such a refreshing, sweet surprise. she is a-mazing! 

5. happy, content, excited 

i recently picked up the book Captivating again. i tried to read it a few years ago and got about half way through and thought.."this is lame." you too might think its corny but i would seriously recommend giving it another shot. the lord has exposed so many things in my heart through reading it, and brought or has begun to bring healing. realizing my brokenness and the wounds of my heart from this world are a lot deeper than i ever imagined. and every single one of them is from the enemy to lead me away from the feminine heart and desires the lord put inside of me. i love that he is not passive.. He doesn't want to merely put a band aide over our wounds and send us on our way.. He wants to go with us, holding our hand, into those places that really hurt and set us free with truth. the truth will set us free. He's so kind and gentle. 

"God went back and got the shaking little girl that was hiding under the bed and convinced her to come out. He unclenched her little fists and took her hand and placed it in his and answered her question. He held her and told her it was ok for her not to be tough. He would protect her. She didn’t have to be strong. He told her she wasn’t a rock but a child. An innocent child. His child. He didn’t condemn her for anything but instead understood her and loved her! He told her she was special…like no other and that she had special gifts like no other. She knew his voice and trusted him. She could hear the pleasure He had for her in His voice and felt His delight in her as He talked. He was so gentle and loving she couldn’t help but melt in His arms."

for consider Him 

who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself,

 let you become weary and discouraged in your souls. 

hebrews 12:3

jack loves me.

i don't have anyone to communicate with besides a dog which equals lots of blogs about nothing too worth-while... but i think thats kind of the point of blogs anyways, so maybe i'm just working on my blogging skills.. making ordinary things seem interesting..  

church was good. i wish worship was longer. not sure exactly what it is, its just good for me to worship in ft laud. maybe bc i haven't since i was a kid. but it just felt reallllly good to my heart. the whole time i kept thinking of this tune "we've got a reason to celebrate, we'll see him one day!" its really happy and everyone dances around. but yeah they didn't play it. he did on the other hand say, "people get ready, jesus is coming" in reference to an old hymn a hand-full of times which made my heart happy. its just encouraging when you hear the holy spirit telling the church at large the same things.. doesn't matter about denomination or theology.. the Spirit and the Bride are beginning to cry, "come!" ..for real! oh my goodness, that just kinda hit me. whoaaaaa. 

i got home and ate ice cream, which i regretted since i'll be in a bathing suit everyday this next week.. so i took jack for a run around the neighborhood to make myself feel better. and to tire him out.. he kept coming up to me with different objects in his mouth that when i would go to grab he would run away hoping i would chase/wrestle with him i suppose but i just wasn't feeling it.. the run seemed to drain his energy.

my friend, genna, asked me to be in her wedding tonight! i'm really excited about it. i had a dream last year that i was in her wedding and the bridesmaids dresses were hot pink. she assured me this wouldn't be the case which i am grateful for. 

tomorrow will consist of a pedicure, consignment shop and the beach !

i love that my best friend from 1st grade, lindsey, and i still pick up where we left off and have really good jesus talks. we use to rollerblade in her driveway and pretend we were ice skaters. we also played "office"..a lot. i would stay in her room and she would go in her parents room and we would write each other notes and put them in the mailboxes we taped to the front of the door. also, one time my mom sent her home with a gallon of milk because she drank out of the carton! haha. we have some good memories. oh yeah, and we're related. we set up her aunt and my uncle on a blind date about 6 or so years ago all because we wanted to be related. shortly after they eloped to italy and are going to grow old together. that could be a movie..

today:

[1] easter brunch at aunt betty's. pretty good. they are funny people. extremely proper. it feels like you're in england or something. the table is set with china and each place has a name tag. they even have the little dish of sugar for coffee with a mini spoon. fresh squeezed juice, sausage cassarole, fruit, cinnamon muffins and grits. 

[2] layed out with jack (the dog) for about 30 min then decided i was way to hot and went in the pool. jack is awesome. we're going to get tight this week. i'll post a pic later.

[3] watched the master's with granddaddy

[4] lindsey came over and we chatted. now i'm headed to church with her.. i'm getting to after-all, hurray! 

this is going to be a good trip. a really good trip. i feel it :]

i wish i was tired considering i have to wake up at 8am (not exactly sure the last time that happened since i switched to the evening section).. but i'm not. i'm actually wide awake and just ate a handful of almonds that i packed for my trip. the flight here was pretty good.. i like that every time i fly it blows my mid how freaking small we are. why did God make us so small? even if we were bigger we would still be tiny in comparison.. but still. and then it really weirded me out to think about jesus in heaven with the father as a little jewish man.. very odd.

yes, i dont understand Him at all. if i try to figure it out, it just makes my ridiculously small brain hurt, so i stop.

i sat next to a pilot on the plane. considering he's on planes a lot, one would think making conversation with strangers would be second nature.. apparently not the case. of course, i didn't initiate either, but i mean come on.. he's a pilot! actually, i take that back.. i did initiate. when we landed, i asked him where Laguardia was. it's in new york.

my grandfather and i are going to my aunt betty and uncle gex's for easter breakfast..? there's a sunrise service outside, on the water, at their presbyterian church down the street but granddaddy doesn't want to go.. understandable since he cant hear very well it would be kind of pointless. but it sounds pretty perfect and awesome. looks like i'm going to start a new trent of going to church every sunday except the "significant" ones.. christmas and now, easter. 

i watched marley & me with my uncle, aunt and four cousins tonight. first movie i've seen in a while. it was ok. after 23 years i still just don't really "get" movies for some reason.. i like documentaries and true stories, fiction just doesn't do it for me.

ok, thats my night.

i'm heading to ft lauderdale in a few hours.

i'm excited for my time there. and kinda nervous feeling at the same time. not really sure why.. although i believe He has a lot in store for this trip. 

i wish i was better at blogging because lots of interesting things have been going on the past couple weeks in my heart. He is bringing forth desires i have never had the ability to put words to and then letting me trust Him that they are from Him and His desire is for them to come in fullness at the perfect time. 

i celebrated a traditional passover on wednesday. well, semi-traditional. a "real" one takes 6 hours! ours was probably 3 or so.. it was really amazing though. i love all of the jewish traditions and God's ways that He put in the Torah...they all point to Yeshua. and the feasts are amazing! God loves for us to be filled with joy and love and i think thats one of the reasons He put them in there.. they are apart of His heart. 

over the past few weeks, i've developed more of a love and understanding of israel. it baffles me how far we have gotten from their traditions and what not. it is beautiful. and yes, we aren't under the law but grace for salvation, but i'm beginning to think that doesn't mean we completely abandon the law and customs of the old testament. it's God's word.. and His heart. 

i'm currently praying about spending a season over there. there is a house of prayer, Succat Hallel, that you can stay at for 3 months basically for free. i just feel a real desire to go there. kinda like when you go home with a good friend and see where they grew up and what their family is like... i want to know where jesus grew up.. see the streets he walked.. his people and culture.. ah! it fills my heart just talking about it. to really know the man, yeshua :)

the other night i was just hanging around ihop trying to figure out something to do for the night and i started talking to these two older ladies. well, actually my friend, kristen, had talked to one of them the day before and said that when she prayed for her that she felt like peace was imparted to her...so it went more like me sitting on the couch in the lobby, the lady walking out of the prayer room, and me just asking her to pray for me...

anyways, she did for a while and it was good.. very peaceful.. then her friend came up and started praying for me... she was very prophetic and said a handful of things that were just little "ok, sandra God knows you and is paying attention" phrases. she anointed me with oil that i actually watched pool up in her hand! not from a bottle... just from heaven ha! the weird thing is that i didn't even think about it while it was happening, it was completely normal and didn't even really catch my attention. then about 20 minutes later it hit me.. and i was like WHHAT.. ive only seen that on youtube, not real life! i couldnt believe how normal and nonchalant i was about a supernatural thing happening right before my eyes... it was the best smell ever. 

The Father is so kind and thoughtful. 

i want to be bold and unwavering yet extremely gentle, humble and kind. yeah. 

verse:

her ways are ways of pleasantness and her paths are peace (prov3:17)

i've had the urge to write poetry lately. its going to start out rough, but thats true with every beginning. i stumbled across some john piper poems (desiringgod.org) yesterday they inspired me. i pray the holy spirit encounters me through this and romances my heart with his thoughts. and maybe yours as well.. 

"heaven, please"

fountain of living water

give me a drink of love

wrap me in your feathers

my eyes on you like a dove

my aching heart

longs to see your face

to hear your voice

to be in your arms at the end of this race

i'm ruined for anything less

than the father's perfect love

let it be real

sent from your throne above

holy spirit be my best friend

your presence is great

meet me in the secret place

walk me down the path that is straight

the world leaves me empty

i need something real

something from heaven

filled with your zeal

jesus is the king

he'll make the wrong right

establish justice

and make the earth bright.

sking