breakfast is my favorite meal.

new possible summer plans:

chill out/work in bham during may

move to az in june and take a class (6/14-7/26)

go to KC for 2 or 3 weeks and stay with jana

!! this sounds way better than taking a class may-aug. we'll see. seems like plans are always subject to change..and usually do.

there's a lot of activity going on around the throne.

thousands upon thousands of angels singing.

lightnings, thunderings, voices.

24 elders casting their crowns before Him.

colors galore.

majesty.

the communion of the Godhead.

and in the mist of all this activity, He hears my cry from the couch.

thats amazing.

yeshua made a way for me to get to the father. my inheritance is to enter in to the most holy place. yeshua carries me threw the sea of angels, in an atmosphere saturated in majesty, beauty and wonder and places me right into my daddy's arms. and he just holds me until all the anxieties of my heart are drowned out by the peace and love that emanate from his being. and then declares, you are my beloved, in whom i well pleased.

im really loving the holy spirit

he reminds me of everything jesus taught

he reminds me that jesus wants me to be one with him just like him and the father are one!

he makes me feel like i could explode. which is a miracle in and of itself that it doesn't happen. how my earthly body contains the fullness of God dwelling inside of it I'm not quite sure.

he teaches me all things

he tells me of things to come

i bless you holy spirit, you blow my mind and make me really happy

i'm learning to hear

deep down i knew He wanted me to stay. but i didn't. i didn't want to, so i went where i wanted. i thought it didn't really matter. i took the my-desires-are-His-desires approach (which a lot of times i agree with, but there are those times when that doesn't apply). He's always with me and will never leave me, but i think He can also be somewhere i'm not. like in sos when He invites her up the mountain, but she wants to stay under the apple tree. so He let's her, He doesn't force her to go, but He goes. yup, He went up the mountain and i decided to stay under the tree. bummer.

there's nothing better than to be where He wants you. where He invites you to go with Him. i've been there. and it is priceless. the peace that filled my heart was comparable to none.

i disobeyed and He forgives me. im so thankful that despite my weakness i really am feeling His delight and smile over me. i'm learning that His ways are better. i'm learning His voice. no matter what, go with that deep down feeling, even if it means you disappoint people or they think you're flakey. at the end of the day, it's just you and Him. and thats all that matters.

and the beautiful part is that He will invite us again. our rejecting Him won't negate His pursuit of us. He will have His way in our life. He will keep coming. He's a jealous bridegroom! hallelujah.

it makes me sad how many people i talk to that treat God like a slave-driver and that he's always disappointed in them. it makes me sad that i treat him like that all too often. He is so not like that. all the fullness of joy is in him! everything that is happy or good is from him! he's the one that will never leave us and even if we settle in the far side of the sea, EVEN THERE his hand will guide us and his right hand hold us.

basically, He's just wayyyy way way way way better than we even begin to give him credit for.

fully kind.

fully loving.

fully patient.

fully happy.

how i love the light and seeing him rightly. more lord.

new favorite coffee shop: primavera in cahaba heights. ligit good coffee and good music.

new favorite fruit: oranges.. ive never been a big fan, mostly bc of the weird white part that stays on it once you peal it, but for some reason it doesn't bother me anymore. and ive eaten more oranges in the past week then in my whole life combined. well maybe thats exaggerated, but there has been a significant increase.

i like this week..

tyrone wells show

hung out with sarah & davis ann in ttown

amazing tues night small group

jana is coming to alabama today

i will hang out with her all day tomorrow

ihop-atl renewal service on friday night.. hopefully get blasted

new york city on saturday to hang with taylor for 5 days

ummm.. no complaints here. :)

ah. the lord is so faithful. been in a funk the past few weeks but i feel im coming out of it. i love how he pursues me and gently nudges me along towards wholeheartedness. ive noticed the times i feel distant from him is when i reduce him down to a formula. the other day i was getting out of my car at o'henry's and so clearly i heard, "I AM IN EVERYTHING!" oohhh how my soul craves for that still small voice. i love it. i love when he speaks to me like that. one sentence and everything changes. well not everything, but i at least begin to feel his light. do you ever feel his light? if not, ask him to let you begin to recognize when its ok you. its the most amazing thing. anyways so he says to me I am in everything and my heart skips a beat. i immediately am drawn towards him, when for the past few weeks its like i want to be near to him but i dont. my guard is down and im just like ahhh jesus. you're so sweet and kind. ive made you a formula once again please forgive me. all he wants is relationship. he's in everything. he's not just a quite time or a church service, we're meant to live and abide continually in the vine. let our souls bask in his presence all the time. jesus died that we may have full access to the father and be continually filled with more of the holy spirit. i love that he's taught me this same lesson a million times and he's not annoyed to remind me again. he's so patient and loving. yet he disciplines. im thankful for that too. and He works everything for our good... ah, im blown away.

tonight i was convicted about compromise. i hate it. i hate that i don't give him everything and dont always love him. even if people dont perceive it, we're aware of the condition of our heart and so is god. man looks at the outward appearance but god looks at the heart. he loves and cares about the external things but all that really matters is how your heart is positioned towards him.