one of my friends (cough cough Sarah or Erica cough) should paint Song of Solomon 2:4..

Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods,

so is my Beloved among the sons.

I sat down in His shade with great delight,

and His fruit was sweet to my taste.

He is a pleasant surprise. refreshing. a place of rest. 

-----

tuscaloosa was great. i like that sarah and davis' house feels homey. i like that its tangible to walk almost anywhere. i like that friends there know my past. 

although i spent most of the time i lived there wishing i didnt, it definitely holds a special place in my heart now. four years of my life that consisted of the most significant change, up to this point, took place there.. lots of hard times, but way more good times. it felt like everywhere i look held a memory.

-----

lots up in the air right now.. i want excitement and peace to fill my heart, not anxiety. reminding myself to trust in the Lord almost every five minutes. He's always on time. His faithfulness endures forever. 

He is despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief (Is53:3)... 

yet

He will not fail nor be discouraged(Is42:4)...

He has never been discouraged. never discouraged. 

hope. faith. love. 

i want one hope. jesus' return.

everything else leaves me disappointed.

and weighs down my heart.

deliver me from the cares of this life.

there is a river of pleasure available.

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[1] ttown this wknd!!!!

[2] ft lauderdale in 3 weeks

[3] flip flops

limousines

i saw a limousine today and i actually laughed-out-loud

they are so ridiculous hahaaaha

Tozer quote on the goodness of God

Now someone who in spite of his past sins honestly wants to become reconciled to God may cautiously inquire, "If I come to God, how will He act towards me? What kind of disposition has He? What will I find Him to be like?

The answer is that He will be found to be exactly like Jesus. "He that hath seen me," said Jesus, "hath seen the Father." Christ walked with men on earth that He might show them what God is like and make known the true nature of God to a race that had wrong ideas about Him. This was only one of the things He did while here in the flesh, but this He did with beautiful perfection.

From Him we learn how God acts toward people. The hypocritical, the basically insincere, will find Him cold and aloof, as the once found Jesus; but the penitent will find Him merciful; the self-condemned will find Him generous and kind. To the frightened He is friendly, to the poor in spirit He is forgiving, to the ignorant, considerate; to the weak, gentle; to the stranger, hospitable. 

-----

If you haven't read The Knowledge of the Holy by AW Tozer...you should. 

my trip to kansas city was so good! the lord gave me a lot to pray about. 

here's a few things...

[1] i was really encouraged by the "spirit of excellence" in kc, really encouraged. hunger. 

[2] He chastens those He loves. it hurts. its good. i'm glad He loves me.

[3] the importance of speaking truth and the obvious things to family/friends. satan is the accuser of the brothern..and is constantly throwing lies at everyone, we're not in this alone. we're suppose to encourage one another daily, to help our brothers and sisters wage war just by washing them with the word and truth. i'm going to try and do this more. it's so important.

[4] this world is not my home. i'm on a pilgrimage. 

[5] Rev 5:13...the creatures even in the sea are saying.. ha! 

[6] i finally got the name book! so if you want to know what your name means you can ask me :)

[7] had my first "divine appointment" on a plane tonight. i sat in between a family on their way to disney world. byron (14) and monti (9) sat on my row. the lord let me prophesy and pray over them. they had really sweet spirits and could tell that the Lord had already marked them. i was able to pray for their mom too, who is recently divorced, for restoration. it was sweet, and really normal. i love that the lord just puts you where he wants you and you don't have to strive. i really love the holy spirit. i'm so grateful that he lives in me and is with me wherever i go. what an amazing gift! 

new music: kristene mueller

verse: and the glory You gave Me I give them, that they may be one just as We are one [jn17:22]

rando

one: going to kansas city fri-tues :)

two: i need to get out of my not-working-out-lull.. why is it so hard to start back? 

three: sunny weather just makes life better.. maybe it's shallow but i really like being tan.

four: got my hair cute yesterday at a cosmetology school. it was only $10. its shorter than i wanted, but it works. when i told the girl what i wanted she said she had never done a hair cut like that haha. not the most comforting thing to hear. 

five: i could eat cereal for every meal

six: i love my job

seven: "grace and love flow as a mighty river"

love

love is patient

love is kind

it does not envy

it does not boast

it is not proud

it is not rude

it is not self-seeking

it is not easily angered

it keeps no record of wrongs

love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth

love always protects

always trusts

always hopes

always perseveres

love never fails [esv: love never ends]

1 Corinthians 13

it baffles me that this has become cliche. its' had my attention the past couple days. 

this is literally who God is. each line is so rich. 

love is humble. 

AW Tozer quotes from his book Knowledge of the Holy:

Love wills the good of all.

His love disposes Him to desire our everlasting welfare and His sovereignty enables Him to secure it.

In Christian experience there is a highly satisfying love content that distinguishes it from all other religions and elevates it to heights far beyond even the purest and noblest philosophy. This love content is more than a thing; it is God Himself in the midst of His Church singing over His people. True Christian joy is the heart's harmonious response to the Lord's love song.

friends are refreshing. i decided to go to onething montgomery last minute and i'm really thankful i went. the lord has beyond blessed me with amazing friends. absolutely amazing. most of them i havent even known that long. maybe 3 years, yet our spirits are so connected and i have a deep love for them all. they are truly my brothers and sisters. 

on saturday night, after spending a few hours in the park and eating a home cooked meal, i rode with jordan mahy back to the church where the conference was held. as we were driving we were talking about loving the poor. and in matthew when jesus says that if you do it for the least of these, you do it for Me. i was sharing with him two experiences ive heard from heidi baker and a girl here at ihop about how when they were holding a child in a third world country and when they looked into the child's eyes they had significant encounters with the lord. both of them said they saw jesus. 

poor, needy, broken, meek, lowly... that's jesus. 

while we were talking about this it literally felt like the holy spirit blew on us. at the same time we just started going crazy and laughing so hard! it was so great. i havent felt the presence of the holy spirit where it literally touches you and you have no control in a long time. those are the best. that little touch really refreshed me. 

and made me realize there is a lot more to loving the poor than i even know. i think jesus was in complete agreement with our conversation and wanted to testify to it by sending his spirit. 

verse i've been thinking about:

now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in christ and through us manifests the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. 2 cor 2:14

christ in me, the hope of glory, literally is manifesting a smell concerning the truth of who He is from my life. that is crazzzzy awesome. 

settling in

i'm getting situated in my new residence. going from my things being spread throughout a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment to sharing a room/closet/bathroom smaller than the one i had to my own has been kinda challenging. my "necessary" belongings are jammed into my half of the room literally taking up every last inch. mostly in piles circling my new twin bed. my other less necessary things are in a corner of bev's basement. this works for now i suppose. i'm grateful to have a bed and roof over my head. and the room is green, so thats a plus. i cant help but daydream about one day having my own house though. lately i've really wanted to live on a farm. and have a rocking chair. a farm on the beach, 15 min from a big city ;)

i'm really thankful for my friends jonathan, joel and matt that live here in atl. they spent most of their day yesterday helping me move heavy stuff down three flights of stairs. and they had a smile on their face. i owe them big time. 

meagan got engaged last night! i'm excited for her and john :)

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i had a dream last night about the mark-of-the-beast...it was terrifying. for real terrifying. i dont really know what to think about it except that we really need to learn how to rest in God now. i feel sobered by it. its not a joke.